The Funeral

The sky was dark ominous as I stood outside the Great Hall and watched the mourners entering for the funeral service. Grief was very evident in their faces and their eyes were filled with tears as they made their way inside. As I looked into the eyes of some I also felt they were carrying a deep sense of fear as they looked to the future. I heard one group lamenting and asking why this happened. How could he leave us like this? What will we do now that the core has been removed from our group? How will we defend ourselves against the enemy now?

Then it was time for the service to begin and I slowly entered into the Great Hall. I took a place in the back of the room and sat silently reflecting on the events that had led up to this moment. It had not been a quick death and while some understood the inevitable was coming, many tried to deny the very possibility of this moment as they could not even begin to imagine what life would be without him. But for others, it had become clear that there was a weakness and as much as the doctors attempted to find a remedy, it appeared that time was simply taking its toll. The battle had been intense, but in the end he had lost and we were gathered to mourn that loss.

The speaker stepped to the large platform of that Great Hall and began speaking. He welcomed us and thanked us for taking the time to come together to mourn the loss of one so great and significant in the life of the group. He rehearsed the great accomplishments of the fallen comrade and explained how we would have an opportunity to hear his 4 sons come and eulogize their father and his works.

The first son told us of his father’s love and devotion to the world of science. He explained how his father had devoted himself to the study of the history of science and the impact science had in the development of his world view and philosophy of life. He told of times when his father had struggled with some aspects of humanity and how science had been a foundation that guided him in understanding mankind and his beliefs.

The second son spoke of his father’s great love for logic and rational thought patterns. He even made us laugh when he reminded us of a statement made by Kirk in ‘Star Trek: Generations’ “If Spock were here, he’d say that I was an irrational, illlogical human being for going on a mission like this... Sounds like fun!” and likened Spock’s philosophy and worldview to that of his father.

The third son reminded us of his father’s great love for doing experiments and being able to prove his point with the data he had gathered. He gave us many illustrations of how this skill had served him well in his work and had enabled him to rise to the top of his field. But he also spoke of the frustration his father would express sometimes as he attempted to understand the complexity of humanity and why people thought and behaved in such odd ways.

The fourth son explained he wanted to help us understand how his father’s love for scientific truth, rational truth, and empirical truth had formed the absolute foundation on which he had built his life and beliefs. And he exhorted the group that while we were gathered on this day to lament the death of his father, we must not lose heart. We must fight for all his father stood for against the coming enemy and one day we will be victorious again. One day modernism will be the arbitrator of absolute truth again.

The Courtroom

He felt confident sitting in the courtroom that beautiful fall day. It had been a beautiful drive into the city. He had left early to miss the morning commuters and had been able to watch the sun coming up over the horizon illuminating the hills that were alive with the bright colors of the season. When he had arrived at the parking garage he took one last look at his stack of manila folders to make sure all the evidence was in order for the presentation and placed it carefully into his backpack for the short walk to the courtroom. He was ready, how could he possibly not find victory to be his friend this day!

The judge had entered and the docket for the day was introduced. He was the fifth case to be evaluated and he settled in for the wait. As he looked around at the other defendants for the day he was struck by a quiet man that was seated in the row ahead of him. He was dressed in rough clothes and obviously was very uncomfortable with the surroundings. When the order had been announced he had noted that this man was the sixth case and would be following him before the judge. As he looked for his documentation he noticed a small tattered manila folder that appeared to be almost empty. He felt sorry for the man as he thought about his backpack loaded with his evidence and wondered if the judge would be tempted to compare his mountain of papers with the few wrinkled pieced in the tattered folder and not really hear this man’s case. But that was not his worry, he had come prepared and this was his day to shine.

He was lost in thoughts of his successful presentation and the honors he would receive when he heard the man announce, ‘Number 5, please step to the front.’ He quickly grabbed his full backpack and stepped to the front of the courtroom. He greeted everyone with a smile and laid out all his folders in the precise order he had practiced last evening. He was ready.

He began his presentation with a detailed listing of all his speaking engagements, awards for public speaking both from his schooling as well as from other organizations and letters of recommendation from other famous orators. He knew this was his strength and prided himself at being a great orator and was confident his skills would serve him well this day.

He then moved to a presentation of his educational background. He produced a copy of all his transcripts from school and other educational opportunities he had pursued. He was especially proud of his accomplishments in this arena as he had been the first at his school to graduate with a 4.0 for his bachelors, masters and doctoral work. He was a master of the languages and only used original language sources for study and speaking. He loved how people were so impressed with his skills in all these areas. He was confident his academic prowess would impress the judge since he had also endured a truly rigorous academic path.

And now that he had the built a solid case for his knowledge and ability to speak to the multitudes he moved to the folder entitled faith. How could the judge not be impressed with the fact that he had come from a poor family and had been able to graduate with his doctorate without any debt? And the most amazing part was that he never actually asked anyone for financial assistance, he would simply go to his mailbox whenever there was a need with a confidence that there would be a check to cover the expense. He remembered his classmates would envy him as they would rush from class to work as he wandered over to the library to study.

And finally the manila folder filled with honors, certificates of achievements, and memberships in prestigious organizations. The accolades of those who had watched him sacrifice all the possible positions of great honor and give it all away to serve in that remote village deep in the jungle. How could the judge not be moved as he saw the great sacrifice he had made to teach those ignorant people? How he had almost died from the fever and how his health had been broken by the myriad of diseases he had faced.

At last he was done with his presentation and he knew everyone in the courtroom must be very impressed with both the facts presented and the eloquent way in which they were presented. He was confident that he would receive yet another honor, maybe even gold or silver or precious stones for such a grand effort. And then he stood silent, waiting for the praise of the judge.

There was murmuring in the courtroom about the masterful performance they had just witnessed as everyone waited for the ruling. What would the judge say in response to such a grand presentation?

But something very strange was happening. Those watching the proceedings saw tears on the face of the judge as he looked into the man’s eyes. And then as the judge was looking directly into the man’s eyes he softly asked this simple question, ‘Do you love me?’ Everyone in the courtroom was stunned, but none as much as the man. What did this question mean? How did this question relate to the proceedings? And then to his amazement the eyes of the judge seemed to become as flames of fire and the stacks of papers were consumed in a moment of time.

In the silence that ensued the only sound to be heard was a clanging cymbal of a street merchant hawking his wares on the street below.

Newborns and Infants

I remember that night as clear as a cold winter sky when the stars are shining bright against the dark canopy of the heavens. I was cleaning out an old file cabinet in the back of a storeroom when I came across a very official looking envelop. I debated at first about opening it since it had the look of something that should only be seen by someone much farther up the food chain than I would ever be. But then I thought, who would know, it had obviously been lost from the system for many years and somehow had landed in this old file cabinet, buried in the archives of bureaucracy forever, or at least until I found it that fateful night. I turned the faded brown envelop over in my hands many times and wondered what I would find if I opened it. The debate raged in my mind for a few more moments and I made the decision to break the rather official looking seal and read the contents sealed within. Little did I know how profoundly it would change my world and break my heart.

As I pulled the document from the envelop I knew it was something very official. It has the look and feel of the official pronouncements made by those in authority and posted around the building for all to read and obey. And even at that moment I somehow knew deep within me that something was very wrong, a sense of fear and darkness covered my heart. It was then that I saw the words that would shatter my world and plunge me into a struggle for the people I loved.

Notice Concerning all Newborns and Infants

It has come to our attention that we do not have the financial or human resources to care for the needs of the newborns and infants that are seeking admittance to our institution. We are therefore restricting the admittance of these individuals into our organization until such time as they are capable of caring for their own needs and can offer assistance to the health and well-being of the organization.

It is apparent that these newborns and infants are not capable of feeding themselves and thus require that we provide special food resources and in addition people to do the feeding.

We have also noted that these newborns and infants are not capable of keeping themselves in clean and proper order and thus require that we provide significant human and financial resources to meet these needs as well.
It is obvious from our observation that these newborns and infants are not contributing to the financial and human resources of our organization. Therefore they will only be admitted to our organization once they have matured to the point where they can care for themselves in a manner designated by the membership committee and are willing and able to meet the membership requirements concerning giving and serving.

We will allow infants to attend meetings and to contribute as they are able, but they will not be considered a member of the institution until such time as they meet the above stated requirements.

As I finished reading the notice I felt a wave of fear and sadness sweep over my soul. It was not an accident that the weak, the lonely, the lost were kept outside the boundaries of the group. I had seen so many struggling, desperately reaching out for a hand, a word, something to help them in this new life. I had sat with them as they struggled to leave the old behind and find their way in this new life. And at that moment I was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization, it was not an accident.

The Great Hall

As I sat on the hill that cold clear winter evening overlooking the valley I saw The Great Hall filled with a multitude of warriors. Their shouts and cheers filled the air as their leaders gave great speeches and exhorted the multitude to be strong in the face of the enemy. In the morning light they were going forth for the battle and as they gathered that evening the leaders were giving those last words of challenge and encouragement before the great struggle would begin. The enemy must be stopped before they overrun the land. It is time to go forth and take back the places that were lost from the last great battle. Take heart, we will be victorious over the enemy, they will not be able to stand against us and our army again. Tomorrow they will go down in defeat and we will once more rule the land. And at the end of each speech there was great cheering and shouts of victory. It was a night of celebration before the dawn and the coming battle.
At first I did not see him standing there but the warmth of his breath against the cold night air revealed his presence. He was in the shadows of the Great Hall listening to the speeches, hearing the cheers of the multitudes. I wondered if he was one of the warriors that would go out to battle in the morning light. But as I watched him I saw there was a sadness in his manner that told of a heavy heart, mourning for the warriors that would be consumed by the enemy, devoured before they could strike a blow for their cause.
But the moment had arrived, the first rays from the morning sun were appearing over the hill and it was time for the leaders to send forth their army to conquer the enemy. And the doors to the Great Hall were thrown open and the people poured out into the cold morning air, armed with words of anger, words they would use to defeat the enemy and drive him back from whence he had come.
As I watched the multitude armed with strong words streaming forth to battle I understood the sadness of the stranger still standing in the shadows of the Great Hall. The army had been prepared to do battle with words, names they would call the enemy, arguments they would use, words filled with anger and fear, words that would defeat the forces of evil and restore the right.
But the stranger knew the enemy would not be defeated with their words, no matter how strong they were or how often they were used. And his heart was filled with sorrow as he knew deep within his being that many valiant warriors would fall this day and the days to come as the true enemy of their soul devoured them with their own weapons. The army had been prepared to do battle with an enemy of flesh and blood, but this day was not to be their day of victory.

The Question

As he walked along the path that the cool summer evening he felt an unrest growing deep within his soul. He searched his thoughts of the day to find the source of this feeling and then he realized he was not alone. He looked around but no one was in sight, but he could not shake the feeling that someone or something was close to him.
And then he recognized it was an old friend, a thought, or more specifically, a question that he had considered so many times in the past. They had spent so much time together over the years that he had given him the name, The Question. It had been a couple of months since they had conversed and he wasn’t sure he was glad that his old friend had come back at this moment to disturb the quietness of the evening. But then, The Question never minded coming at the most inopportune time and normally stayed past a reasonable hour.
He thought about the first time they met. He was sitting in his living room watching a video when he first heard The Question. And while he remembered the event very clearly, he never had an idea that they would become such close companions on this journey.
So, he began to turn The Question over in his mind, much the same as he had so many times before. He knew he did not have a good response for The Question and yet he could not escape the struggle he faced with a simple, ‘I do not know!’
He thought of that day a few months ago he had come to the realization that he had been turning The Question over in his mind for so long it had been worn smooth, like a stone in a rock tumbler. There were no longer any edges, corners or crevices in The Question where he could get a hold. It seemed that whenever he tried to grasp it firmly it would slowly slip between his fingers and begin again to pierce his soul with the agility of an enemy very familiar with all his defenses.
And so he continued walking down the path, knowing that The Question would leave, but also that he would be back.

Wanderer101

Standing

As I was walking along the path I noticed him up ahead. He was just standing there, quiet, and all alone. I wondered what he was doing there but knew it was somehow better to allow him the space to just be. As I approached him he turned and looked at me. I saw in his eyes the pain and struggle and burdens of life and I knew at that moment the reason he was there, standing on the edge. I knew he was struggling with the question, 'Should I just do it? Should I take that next step? I understood the battle raging deep within his being , I wanted to help him, to bring comfort to his soul. But I understood that my words would ring hollow in his ears. I knew he must have heard so many words, so many suggestions by well-intentioned friends and probably many words of condemnation by those along the way who were not so well-intentioned.
So, when I came to him I simply stopped and stood there next to him, without words, just standing. We stood there, quiet, simply sharing presence and then very slowly he turned and looked into my eyes. I felt the depth of his pain and struggle and at that moment I felt our hearts being joined by a force greater than either of us. I knew I was on that path at that moment for this encounter. It was to be my role to bear his burden with him, to offer care and comfort in the midst of the battle.
As we stood there I could sense the intensity of his struggle subsiding as I felt the added weight and woundedness of his soul now pressing down on me as I accepted that small part of his burden. Healing was beginning to come to his inner being.
And then I offered him my hand and he stepped over the edge, onto the path and joined me on the journey to knowing Jesus, to knowing the love of Jesus that is so immense that it transcends the very limits of all we can know.
He never looked back at the darkness of the dense underbrush from which he had emerged, at the emptiness of the forms he had so desperately tried to embrace for healing. He never again wanted to sacrifice the freedom he now felt for the bondage of that empty ritual.
Wanderer101

Can you hear me now?

There I was, standing on the edge of the room, watching, listening, looking in the faces of those around me. And then, I noticed him across the room, standing quietly.
The mind is an odd thing I know, and that is the only explanation I can give for the next moment. For some reason I was watching that Verizon commercial in my mind and hearing that guy say, ‘Can you hear me now?’
As I looked closer at his eyes and face it was like he was crying out that same phrase. He was standing silently in the midst of so many and yet no one was hearing. The pain and sorrow he felt deep within his soul had filled his eyes with a sadness. He was crying out with all the force he could gather, and yet, no words were coming out. Somehow the depth of his sorrow could find no words. And so, he stood quietly, crying out for someone to join him on this journey.
As I stood there watching him, I saw another pause for a moment before him and ask that non-question, ‘How’s it going?’ I saw him put on that non-smile and respond with that non-answer, ‘Everything is going well, thanks.’ And the line from the commercial came back to mind, ‘Can you hear me now?’ And I knew that he was asking that same question. No, not with the imagery of the commercial in his thoughts, but deep within him he was wondering, ‘Can anyone hear me now?’
Wanderer101