Alone

I was never so alone as when I was sitting in the midst of people.

There I was, sitting in the middle of a group of people and suddenly realizing how alone I was. How could I be in the midst of so many people I know and at the same time be so lonely? I had felt tinges of this sensation at different times before, but somehow this moment was new and unique. Maybe it was just that I had a glimpse of the reality and saw through the façade of my connectness to those around me. Or was it just that my soul was feeling the reality of a pain that finally surfaced in my conscious thought? The reality that I was able to move in the midst of these people and yet not be touched by them was suddenly very clear to me. I became aware of the empty space that seemed to be present between us, even if it could not be seen by human eyes. Suddenly, for that moment, I realized that at some place on my journey something had happened, and it was not good. It was like my eyes were open for just a small space in time to see the ties that binds us together as a family and I knew had lost those connections. For that instant the depth of my loneliness came crushing down like a weight on my soul and I knew.
And then I heard him say, please stand and we will sing a closing song before we are dismissed.